Use Mindfulness to Control Your Anger

 Is your bad temper creating you problems? Do you worry your angry outbursts will deteriorate your personal and professional life and cause irreparable damage on your health? Are people telling you to calm down or else trouble will be knocking at your door?

Anger is one of our most common and recognizable emotions: we have felt it and expressed it since we were babies, and we are still getting a taste of it on a daily basis (just remember the emotions flooding your body when you get stuck in traffic, or when something or someone prevents you from getting what you want). Even if we are familiar to anger’s many faces and distressing outcomes, we still find it difficult to control it, to detach ourselves from it, and, ultimately, to reduce its power over us.  Its abrupt and intense nature makes it more difficult to tame it down and bring it under our control, particularly when we reach “that point of no return” and all we want is to lash out in a fit of nerves.

But what if we approach anger from a different perspective? What if, instead of struggling with the emotion or trying to reason with it, we decide not to react to it?

What if, instead of trying to control anger, we just become mindful about it and decide to accept for what it is – a human emotion – that will quietly melt away?

Can mindfulness be an efficient coping strategy when anger builds up? Practitioners say it can. At all events, anger is like fire - if we allow it to exist and we give it enough space within our body and mind, it will lastly burn out.

Practicing mindfulness improves your ability to quiet you heated mind and cope with intense emotions. Furthermore, it can help you become aware of your “hot” thoughts before getting “to the point of no return”, and, also, to cool down if your anger has flamed out.

Commonly, mindfulness is the practice of intentionally paying attention to the present moment. It involves increased awareness of that present moment and acceptance without judgment of everything that you become aware of. In short, being mindful helps you reduce your physiological arousal and accept your emotions and bodily sensations in a non-judgmental manner.

But how exactly does this work when angry feelings are around the corner?

The RAIN technique sums up all you need to do, each time you have to deal with you anger.

1. Recognize the emotion. Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breathing. Notice the sensation of your belly gently rising and falling as you breathe in and out. Then, turn your attention to your body and your internal sensations and notice them. Are your palms sweating? Is your stomach aching? Scan you body for any tension. Notice how rigid you are or if you are feeling hot or cold. Notice the sensations flooding your body. Are those bodily expressions of a specific emotion? Identify that emotion and name it: I am feeling anger now.
2. Accept the emotion. Observe how that emotion feels in your body and where that emotion is located. Is it in your stomach, your jaw or your head? Then, take a few deep breaths and imagine you are creating more space in your body for that emotion to exist. Just simply, allow your anger to be present in your body, without judging it to be good or bad.
3. Investigate the emotion and the thoughts supporting it. Notice what angry thoughts come into your mind. Do not get caught into your thinking, observe the thoughts as they come into your mind and name them for what they are. You can say: This thought is making me angry.
4. Non-identify with anger and anger-related thoughts. Notice how your thoughts come and go, as clouds passing on a blue sky. Notice your anger, feel it and accept it for what it is – a momentary emotion, and, then, gently allow it to pass.

 Try this every time you feel negative emotions building up, and you will regain your cool demeanor in next to no time.